We Often Hear this Scenario From Sports Parents…
“My son is a top player but cannot perform any longer in matches when there is a crowd watching. He is 17, however he is as tight as a drum when playing matches now.”
“He still wins but says he only gets 20% of his ability to come through because he’s so tight. He loses to better players because of tightness. What can we do?”
This young athlete–like many others–struggles with social approval, which means he worries about how others may be judging his game.
When he worries about what others think about his performance, he is distracted from the game at hand and unable to focus and play his best.
He might worry about looking foolish in front of so many people or making a mistake in matches. Either way, such worries cause kids to perform tight and try to avoid mistakes.
When young athletes worry about what others think, they can’t focus 100% on the game. They become afraid to make mistakes and take risks. They struggle with playing intuitively and freely, which is when they play their best.
The first step is to talk to your athletes and find out what they’re thinking… Are they worried about:
- Making mistakes in front of the crowd?
- Losing the game?
- Looking foolish in front of others?
- Embarrassing themselves?
- Gaining your approval?
- Not letting down coach or teammates
Next, find out when they think about others and what assumptions they are making about what others MIGHT BE thinking. This is key.
We call this process mind reading. Identifying the assumptions they make is a big step in helping them avoid worrying so much.
Once you have identified your athletes’ assumptions, it’s time to help kids focus on the game at hand. They need to challenge these assumptions and you can help inject some reality. How do they really know others might be judging them?
Remind your athletes to focus on performance cues, such as footwork, committing to the game plan, and tactics. Remind them to focus on seeing the ball early and anticipating each shot.
By focusing on the small important objectives, your athletes are less likely to worry about others’ judgements.
Related Articles on Youth Sports:
- Helping Young Athletes Have More Fun
- Constructive Criticism Tips for Young Athletes
- How Friendly Competitions Helps Athletes
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The Composed Sports Kid
“The Composed Sports Kid” audio and workbook digital download program for young athletes and their parents or coach helps kids cope with frustration and anger in sports. Help your sports kids learn how to manage expectations and let go of mistakes so they can keep their head in the game.
The Composed Sports Kid system is really two programs in one–one program to train parents and coaches how to help their kids practice composure, and one program that teaches young athletes–ages 6 to 13–how to improve composure, let go of mistakes quickly, have more self-acceptance, and thus enjoy sports more!