Helping Young Athletes Unlock Their Performance
A sports parent asks:
“I have a son who is a junior baseball player. To watch him warm up and practice, he looks the part and has already got some small college offers. He fits your description of a perfectionist and therefore lacks confidence. He has had multiple injuries and his latest I feel like may be little of a crutch due to fear of failing in front of coaches and scouts. Any suggestions?”
Most sports kids who have some perfectionism often worry about what others think about them.
This becomes a problem for many young athletes who rely on what they think others believe about them to boost their self-confidence or even self-worth.
They couple their value as a person too closely with what others think of their athletic ability or performance. This need for social approval is another HUGE source of pressure on your sports kids, and can be as mentally debilitating as any type of pressure.
If your children are especially sensitive to social approval, help them identify and discuss their feelings and worries.
If your children get discouraged when they are not praised, get embarrassed when they make a mistake, or easily get down when someone offers suggestions about their play, they need to work on how their need for social approval affects their thinking and performance.
Some signs your child may be too worried about what others think are:
- They perform tentatively and are afraid to make mistakes or take risks.
- They appear distracted by what others are doing around them.
- They make comparisons to other people.
- They spend too much time thinking about what others think about them.
It’s critical to teach your young athletes that self-esteem should not be based on their level of performance or winning. Help them define their self-concept.
What is their view of themselves, separate from sports? Help them separate the two and identify their positive characteristics outside of sports.
One way to do this is to get your hands on our “Ultimate Sports Parent” workbook, which has a section on how to help kids separate their self-worth from their performance. It also focuses on helping sports kids who worry about what others think:
Related Articles on Youth Sports:
- Homeschooling: Pressure for Young Athletes? [Podcast]
- Is Setting Goals Too Much Pressure for Young Athletes?
- Tips for Playing Under Pressure
*Subscribe to The Sports Psychology Podcast on iTunes
Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!
Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids who struggle with the “inner” game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.
You can benefit from our 15-plus years’ of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research. Now, you can tap into our secrets to sports success through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top “mental game” challenges that sports parents face—and the top challenges young athletes face.