Are You A Distraction?
Brenda knows she makes mistakes as a sports parent. Not only is she willing to talk about her mental game no-nos. She’s eager to work on them and improve her sports parenting skills.
Read on to learn about how she undermines her daughter’s skating and what she can do to better support her young athlete.
The mother of a 14-year-old, Brenda struggles with common challenges for sports parents:
- She feels nervous before and during competitions.
- She has high expectations for her daughter.
- She is a perfectionist herself, which means she has a hard time accepting mistakes.
Such behavior from a parent can be a huge distraction for sports kids. And when they’re distracted, they can’t focus on what they need to focus on in order to succeed and feel confident.
“Before games I get nervous, which Ashley sees. And I’ll start getting nervous the day before,” Brenda says.
Ashley has lots to say about her mom’s behavior. She often leaves her mother notes.
“Any time I make mistakes, she lets me know it’s not right and why,” says Brenda. “Last night, she wrote a down, saying ‘This is really bad for me. You’re showing signs of nervousness before competition. It adds stress to me.’ Even if I try not to show it, I give it away. I also get mad easily,” says Brenda.
Brenda’s stress is a big distraction for Ashley especially around competition time. Instead of focusing on what she needs to do to compete well, she concentrates on her mother’s nervousness. You might say that her head is not in the game.
Focusing on the right things is one of the most important ways for young athletes to feel confident, enjoy sports and perform well. That’s why it’s critical for Brenda to learn how to control her behavior and stop distracting Ashley.
Sports parents can avoid distracting their kids by:
- Cheering for all members of the team, not just their own kid.
- Committing to never arguing with coaches and refs.
- Being positive before and after competitions.
- Understanding that sports is the kids’ experience, not the parents’.
- Helping young athletes what thoughts, feelings, or images they need to focus on in order to perform their sport.
Related Articles on Youth Sports:
- How Yelling From The Sidelines Distracts Athletes
- How to Help Kids Get Back on Track When Distracted
- Helping Young Athletes Cope with Pregame Distractions
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“Being positive before and after competitions.”
I think this is one of the hardest things for parents to do, especially is the parent is also the coach. I understand wanting to talk about what wrong during the game and how you can improve next time, but there is a time and place for that. The car ride home probably isn’t the best time to relive your athlete’s mistakes, even if you don’t mean anything negative from it.