How to Keep Athletes in the Game
A sports parent asks:
“My son is a HS freshman with huge potential in football but is not wanting to pursue it, he says he does not feel ‘passionate’ about it, even after being told by a few retired coaches and refs that he could definitely get a scholarship. He’s saying that he doesn’t want to play football now and I think he is wasting huge potential. I told him that he has to play at least one sport whether or not its football and should definitely reconsider football as good as he is, but he says he needs to get a job instead.”
This question often comes up in youth sports. To parents, it often seems like a no-brainer that a talented child should stay in sports and not give up.
But it’s important to remember that your feelings do not necessarily match the feelings of your young athletes.
And truth is, their talent is theirs–not yours. It’s up to them to decide whether they want to quit.
However, before kids get to this point, there are many things you can do to prevent them from dropping out.
Young athletes don’t want to feel pressure from parents, coaches, or refs.
While it’s great for you to hear how talented your children are, it may be putting more pressure on your sports kids-pressure they don’t want.
The key to keeping your talented young athletes in sports is to make sure they enjoy the experience more than feel too much pressure.
College scholarships and athletic potential are likely to not seem ‘real’ to your kids.
What is real to them is how sports make them feel, and with the added pressure of having to perform up to others’ expectation, it may not feel fun at all.
Encourage your kids to have fun in sports. Don’t mandate that they play sports. Remember back to when you were their age. You likely didn’t enjoy mandates handed down by your parents.
Instead of having your kids focus on being the best or attaining certain achievements, have them focus on having fun with friends and learning new skills.
In this case, don’t say, “But Coach said that you could get a scholarship!” Instead, say, “Think about all the fun you have playing with your friends.”
A pressured sports kid is likely to stop being a sports kid entirely, so do whatever you can to take that pressure off.
If your kids want to quit because of lack of confidence, high frustration, or getting bullied by others, we can help. Contact us about personal mental game coaching
If your athlete simply lost the joy of sports and has no interest in engaging, then you don’t want to demand that they play sports. You want them to participate for the right reasons, not to satisfy a parent.
Help your young athletes have fun and stay in the game!
Related Articles on Youth Sports:
- How to Set Standards of Excellence for Young Athletes
- When Youth Sports Feels Toxic, Athletes Need These Skills
- Why Sports Must be Fun for Young Athletes
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The Composed Sports Kid
“The Composed Sports Kid” audio and workbook digital download program for young athletes and their parents or coach helps kids cope with frustration and anger in sports. Help your sports kids learn how to manage expectations and let go of mistakes so they can keep their head in the game.
The Composed Sports Kid system is really two programs in one–one program to train parents and coaches how to help their kids practice composure, and one program that teaches young athletes–ages 6 to 13–how to improve composure, let go of mistakes quickly, have more self-acceptance, and thus enjoy sports more!