Do Young Athletes Have Mental Blocks?

A sports parent says:

“I have a 12-year-old son who is having major mental blocks as it comes to baseball. He feels the pressure to live up to the hype of making it to the World Series. His pitching has improved tremendously however in today’s game he walked the first batter and felt the last ball was a strike and he was done mentally. It went from bad to worse and it also affected his hitting where he struck out twice.”

“We have a critical game this Tuesday against a team he let it get the best of him and we lost due to lack of confidence and with everyone telling him you have to win this game or we are out of the running for first place. Nothing I say is right. He blames himself for today’s loss. He says he can’t pitch or hit anymore and its terrible. Please help. Thanks.”
~Angie, Sports Parent

Here, we have the classic example of a perfectionist… He expects that he will lead his team to the World Series Championship!

This expectation is causing him an undue amount of stress and is likely hurting his performance. Leading to tanking: Inability to think clearly and giving up.

However, here’s the good news: The parent understands that the problem is the boy’s expectations.

Identifying the mental game issue is always the first step when dealing with sports children who are having confidence issues. The root of the issue often lies in a belief about how athletes think they should perform.

Expectations are unwritten demands your athletes have about their performance. Problems arise when they fail to meet these demands and in response get frustrated and then lose confidence in their game.

When they become frustrated and distracted, they are bound to make more mistakes, compounding the negative effect and creating a very unhealthy cycle.

Ask yourself this question:

What messages are my sports children receiving from me about my expectations for their performance?

Often, sports kids take on their parents’ expectations, even when their parents don’t intentionally want to impose these expectations. Be careful what you say around your sports kids.

Don’t put undue expectations on them, even if you’re trying to be positive: “You could have scored 30 points tonight!”

Such statements impose a results-oriented expectation in your sports kids’ minds, which distracts them from focusing on what they need to do in the here-and-now.

Instead of discussing results, focus on mini-goals. Sports kids need to focus on being in the moment, concentrating on playing hard on defense, or being good team players, or making quality passes.

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We’re certain that, as a parent, you want to help your child develop confidence and discipline in sports and life. And as a sports parent, you’d love for your children to reach their potential in sports. But encouraging your child to strive for greatness without pressuring them can be a challenge.

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Mental Blocks in Youth Sports: When Kids Tank