Helping Kids Focus on The Process Instead of Outcome
A young athlete writes:
“I want to quit wrestling because I have too much anxiety with the pain and my failure. I have found other hobbies like lifting by myself or with a friend. I just don’t like wrestling and I don’t know how to tell my coach that wrestling is just not for me.”
~Christopher
Christopher is by no means alone! Fear of failure is one of the most common issues for sports kids, and it can sometimes create so much frustration that kids drop out, like Christopher.
To avoid having your sports kids drop out, it’s important to understand and address fear of failure and perfectionism.
Perfectionists are most likely to struggle with fear of failure.
While perfectionists work hard and practice constantly, often improving more quickly then others because of their work ethic, perfectionism has a dark side…
Perfectionists tend to be their own worst enemies.
They pressure themselves so much during competition that they undermine their own performance.
Perfectionists expect a lot of themselves, and when they do not perform up to those expectations, their confidence can be crushed.
Often perfectionists are known as “practice players,” players who will beat anyone during practice but will fail to perform when they’re in front of the bright lights of the real game.
Kids who grapple with perfectionism and fear of failure have all kinds of fears during game time.
They’re afraid that their coaches and teammates will criticize their performance, that they will let others down, and that they will not live up to their lofty expectations.
They focus on the results of the game rather then the game itself.
All of this takes kids’ heads out of the game. It can become so gut-wrenching that these athletes simply want to quit.
Young athletes should focus on the here-and-now during games, rather than thinking about mistakes, points, or what anyone else thinks of them.
The first thing you can do to help your sports children is identify the beliefs and expectations that are causing them so much frustration and pain.
Are they too focused on the end result of the game? Are they too worried about what their coaches and friends may think of them? Do they feel like they need to be the star of the team? Do they feel like a failure if they are not perfect?
Help kids try to identify and replace these thoughts with smaller, mot manageable goals or objectives.
For example, instead of having a goal of scoring 30 points in basketball, have them try to concentrate on being decisive when shooting and keeping their eyes on the basket when they release their shot.
By focusing on the process instead of the outcome, your sports kids will be able to concentrate on the game, rather than on their worries.
Related Articles on Kids’ Mental Game:
- Parents, Have Your Kids Wanted to Quit Sports?
- What to Do When Sports Kids Want to Quit
- How to Keep Kids in Sports
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