Staying Calm in Youth Sports
A recent LA Times story featured Marisa Berger, a 15-year-old high school student who takes part in the modern pentathlon, an Olympic sport during which she shoots guns, fences, swims, rides horses and runs–all in single day.
Her goal is to become “the complete athlete,” proficient in five distinct athletic skills.
How does she manage to stay in the game?
By honing her mental game, she says.
“You have to have the mental aspect for shooting. For running and swimming, you have to be an amazing aerobic athlete. Fencing is mental mixed with your reaction time and riding is graceful and be really calm,” she says in the article.
To be successful, most young athletes require a balance of physical talent and a strong mental game. These attributes along with a solid practice routine creates well-rounded athletes.
Shooting has become one of her favorite competitions, she says in the story.
“You have to be so still and so perfect each time,” Berger said. “I used to hate it. Now I’ve learned, through sports psychology, I can almost make myself fall asleep when I shoot because I know I have to calm myself down.”
Sports psychology isn’t just for teens taking part in Olympic sports.
Young athletes of all ages benefit by learning how to cope with pressure, understand their fears, stop worrying about what others think of them and improve their confidence.
If you’re a young athlete, a coach or a sports parent, tell us how sports psychology or mental training improved your or your athlete’s mental game.
Please post your comments in the box below!
Related Articles on Kids’ Mental Game:
- How To Stay Calm and Composed in Competition
- Help Young Athletes Avoid Freezing Up During Competitions
- 7 Tips For Sports Parents To Help Athletes Stay Composed
*Subscribe to The Sports Psychology Podcast on iTunes
*Subscribe to The Sports Psychology Podcast on Spotify
The Composed Sports Kid
“The Composed Sports Kid” audio and workbook digital download program for young athletes and their parents or coach helps kids cope with frustration and anger in sports. Help your sports kids learn how to manage expectations and let go of mistakes so they can keep their head in the game.
The Composed Sports Kid system is really two programs in one–one program to train parents and coaches how to help their kids practice composure, and one program that teaches young athletes–ages 6 to 13–how to improve composure, let go of mistakes quickly, have more self-acceptance, and thus enjoy sports more!
I was once a perfectionist too. I only played soccer and did well because my parents never pushed me, but always told me “Play the way you think is best, get plenty of rest and have lots of fun. However, after becoming an United States Officer, the push for perfectionism by the Air Force and myself, only increased my perfectionism, kept me nervous all the time, not laughing or every having a good time and lots of fun. After many self-requested assignments, I quickly excelled in everything. My faith, family, Country,giving to others, helping others and serving others and along with too much self-imposed hard work, I was proud of. I adored my three athletic sons, but I never pushed them and always encouraged them to remember what is important is to have fun, make friends and get plenty of rest. I had studied hard in school, college and Graduate School, but always knew something was wrong with me. I was obsessive-compulsive in everything. After a very stressful, year long remote tour in Saudia Arabia, I received a Dear John letter from my now ex-wife. I rapidly flew home. As soon as I arrived I was served with Divorce papers. I had pushed myself for so many years at work and taking care of my sons (my ex liked sex, but did not want to raise the kids). After the divorce, I totally collapsed and have a severe Major Depressive Episode which left me disabled. I fought to stay in the Air Force, but knew my sons came first. I then was medically retired. I immediately gained custody of my oldest son and continued to fight for several years until I gained custody of my other two sons. It went on so long I never until the early 90s’ was able to work again. I am doing very well now. My sons are in their thirties, well-educated, married, and two of them have the best grandchildren I could ever hope to have. After all these years, I am now well and a very relaxed peron who enjoys life and has lots of fun. If it had not been for my strong faith, I would never have made it. I now work with sport psychology, training athletes, assisting them with their academics (I believe that you should not be able to play sports unless you also keep your grades up first), and trraining them in Military Psychology. I always tell them to have fun first, enjoy what they are doing no matter what it is and get lots of rest. My athletes have blossomed because I just tell them to put their faith first, have fun and enjoy themselves and never do what I did. They are all doing very well and if they do not win, they know that they are still loved and that what they do in athletics, academics or military psychology means nothing unless they balance their work with plenty of rest and fun. They are not perfectionist anymore. They tell me they really appreciate the fact that I don’t push them nor say it is the end of the world if they lose or have ups and downs. What is important is to enjoy your life and stay close to God and your faith. It has made a remarkable difference in their lives and their attitudes on and off the field, court or whatever sport, academics or military discipline they are involved in. They are positive, more creative, stronger and I have no doubt will make extraordinary productive citizens, husbands and fathers. They understand that it is more important to take care of themselves first and recognize the signs of unhappiness and perfectionism in their endeavors. Then change themselves. Happiness is always my goal for them. I have been to the bottom and struggled for years to get back to some degree of a normal life (whatever normal means). I always complemented them, tell them how proud I was of them and that God’s love for them is the key to a happy life, not thinking that them have to always be perfect in everything, just be true to themselves. Life is too short to be unhappy, sick or lose a family because of some perfectionism. I wish you well with your sons. Please share this with others. Thank-you for sharing your story. Oscar Fred Kirkley, Jr. ( until I received my Disability Reti
Thanks for advices , they are really good .
I am a soccer player , i am 16 years old and i play for a pro team , my dream is to play at Real Madrid , and many times i have some fears not achieving it , i can’t concentrate well at game , if i play a game where is no importance , nobody is looking i am the best , if already at the game somebody is looking at me , i can’t play .
Please help me with some advices .
Thanks
I must say that it is refreshing to know that there are other people out there that have the same beliefs that I do when it comes to sports. Having fun is the most important for the athlete and especially a young one. I am an ice hockey coach and I see the world of psychology about to burst in and change the way we think about sports and competition. It is tough to keep everyone happy especially when parents are spending a lot of $ and time to see their athlete WIN. That is the old mentality and it seems to be fading from what I see. I can definately relate to those who feel that they need to be perfect and be the best but still fall short of that glory. Knowledge is half the battle and after you have that you can work on skills and developing a growth mindset. Basically there are 2 mindsets; FIXED and GROWTH. Fixed is negative and believing that you either have or you don’t. Growth on the other hand is a learning mindset. The ability to constructively look @ what happened objectively and learn and do your best to fix the errors. I don’t feel that there is need for motivation for the athlete in this instince because if they enjoy what they are doing and have the growth mindset then they will push themselves to be better. What does that mean… no stress for anyone involved. To all the athletes out there let me ask you a question. Have you ever been beaten in competition and yet you still feel like you are the winner? Have you ever won a competition and felt that you lost? This is my point exactly… do your best, have fun, and have a growth mindset. Focus on what went right and not over emphisizing the mistakes you made. Be the best you can be!