Fear of Failure in Youth Sports
Fear of failure is a common challenge for sports kids.
It looks like this: Sally, a soccer player, dribbles down the field and loses the ball. As soon as she makes a mistake in the game, she starts worrying about making other mistakes.
So she starts playing to avoid mistakes—instead of taking risks and going for it.
If she simply moved on, took risks and played with all her heart, she’d likely fare much better. She’d make some mistakes—but she’d learn from them. She’d also learn more by playing hard and forgetting about failing. Ultimately, she’d be a more confident player.
Alas, many kids suffer from fear of failure these days. They’re often perfectionists, or kids who want everything to look and feel perfect, or they’re worried what others will think of them when they mess up.
To help sports kids overcome fear of failure, adults can establish a ritual that allows them to move on after making mistakes. For example, the Positive Coaching Alliance says that parents and coaches should mime a flushing motion to young athletes after they make mistakes. The motion tells them, “Move on; don’t focus on your mess up.”
In addition, parents need to remind kids that they don’t have to be perfect when they play sports—and they shouldn’t be. There’s no such thing as perfection!
Parents can give kids three or four “Get out of jail” cards, hopefully to remind them that if they make mistakes, they should give themselves a break.
Related Articles on Youth Sports:
- Fear of Failure and Youth Sports
- Addressing Fear of Failure and Perfectionism By Adjusting Athletes’ Goals [Podcast]
- Helping Young Athletes Kick Perfectionism and Fear of Failure
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*Subscribe to The Sports Psychology Podcast on Spotify
The Composed Sports Kid
“The Composed Sports Kid” audio and workbook digital download program for young athletes and their parents or coach helps kids cope with frustration and anger in sports. Help your sports kids learn how to manage expectations and let go of mistakes so they can keep their head in the game.
The Composed Sports Kid system is really two programs in one–one program to train parents and coaches how to help their kids practice composure, and one program that teaches young athletes–ages 6 to 13–how to improve composure, let go of mistakes quickly, have more self-acceptance, and thus enjoy sports more!