Social Approval in Youth Sports
Sports kids have lots of worries in youth sports—worries that hurt their confidence and performance.
A big one, especially for middle and high school kids, are worries over what others think of their performance.
Young athletes are concerned what their friends, parents and coaches may think if they goof up. When they worry like this, they’re likely to freeze up every time they make a mistake.
And that leads to a deadly mental game mistake: They start playing it safe. They play to avoid making mistakes, rather than to take risks, have fun, and grow.
To help young athletes who worry about what everyone thinks of them, first help them identify the problem…
Ask them if they’re worried about what certain folks on the sidelines—or their teammates—are thinking about them. Ask them what happens when they start to worry.
Note that some athletes won’t divulge this information to parents as they don’t want others to think they are weak.
There are lots of ways to help these kids. First of all, help them focus on what’s more important—the game they’re playing.
Do this by helping them identify mini-goals—small, achievable goals—to concentrate on. Remind them that focusing on the game—and not their worries—will help them perform better, which is what they’re worrying about to begin with!
Mini-goals could include covering well on defense, making good shots at the goal, and communicating well with teammates.
These worriers also likely put themselves down a lot with negative self-talk. (I can’t statements).
Be sure to help them replace their negative thoughts (“I can’t score a goal if my friends are watching me”) with positive thoughts (I’ve scored goals under many circumstances, and I know I can do well today!).
Related Articles on Youth Sports:
- Help Sports Kids Overcome Social Approval
- How to Help Young Athletes Overcome Social Approval
- Sports Parents: Do Your Kids Want Your Approval?
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The Composed Sports Kid
“The Composed Sports Kid” audio and workbook digital download program for young athletes and their parents or coach helps kids cope with frustration and anger in sports. Help your sports kids learn how to manage expectations and let go of mistakes so they can keep their head in the game.
The Composed Sports Kid system is really two programs in one–one program to train parents and coaches how to help their kids practice composure, and one program that teaches young athletes–ages 6 to 13–how to improve composure, let go of mistakes quickly, have more self-acceptance, and thus enjoy sports more!