How to Help Sports Kids Be Self-Motivated
A sports parent asks:
“How can I help my son learn how to be self-motivated so that he can improve his tennis game?”
Dan Coyle, the author of “The Talent Code,” argues that you have to help your children by cultivating their passion.
Passion, he says, makes learning a quick and enjoyable experience.
Passionate, self-motivated sports kids play because they enjoy the experience.
They do not look for extrinsic rewards and do not need to be pushed to perform.
That means that pushing your kids into sports with the hope that it will create a passion is a huge mistake.
Likewise, “bribing” them by offering them something in return for their participation is unlikely to produce self-motivation.
Research has shown that extrinsic rewards do not help sports children with motivation at all!
Instead of pushing, talk to your children about the things they enjoy (or may enjoy) about playing sports.
Why do they play sports?
Is it to be with friends and socialize?
Is it out of a love of competition?
By helping your sports kids focus on the things they enjoy about their sports, you help them cultivate their passion and self-motivation.
Remember, the things that create motivation in sports are intrinsic, such as:
- socializing with friends
- having fun competing
- building self-confidence through improvement
Another way to promote self-motivation is to help kids pick a personal goal for their sport, something that comes from them.
Have it be a reachable but challenging goal.
It should be difficult enough to excite your sports kids’ ambitions but not so difficult as to make them feel like they could never accomplish it.
In this specific case, the parents of the tennis player above could talk to the tennis player about why he likes playing tennis in the first place.
If he says he enjoys the time with his friends, remind him that working on his game could let him continue playing with his friends for years to come.
If it is for the competition, remind him how good it feels to be in the midst of it! Then help him set an aggressive – yet reachable – goal for the future.
Related Articles on Kids’ Mental Game:
- Help Young Athletes Turn Criticism into Motivation
- How the Mental Game Helps Elite Athletes and Others
- Do Your Kids Feel like Sports is a Job?
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